To celebrate my 3 year anniversary of sobriety (a couple weeks late but oh well) I'm sharing this letter I put some real heart into writing for a sweet friend who is curious about that no-booze life. I'm just copying it directly here, but please know that I feel this way about everyone. I am … Continue reading So you want to stop drinking- a letter to you.
I want to tell you about something I've been feeling, but I think it would be better explained as a film. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to make films, so I’m going to write the screenplay, and you can make the film in your head. The opening scene. A woman is filling a cardboard box with … Continue reading Sick of the toolbox
These are things I want to share with you, upon my return from the commune. The owners may call it a artist residency, but it had some strong commune vibes in the best, non-culty way. What I learned could be applied to any trip, especially one where you're meeting new people. A little background on … Continue reading How to be sober in a commune
driving my dad to work the sounds of NPR and elephants from the Detroit zoo. along for the ride, i didn't make plans then. i spent years stacking so many small, precious stones. now the ground is uneven and the plan doesn't work anymore. i bury the stones and hope for rain. there was a … Continue reading plans
First of all, what are these awful ads with terrible indistinguishable close-up photos? I'm so sorry if you're seeing those. I tried switching to a really simple layout in the hopes of getting rid of that. I'll keep on it. (UPDATE: I fixed it.) Second thing: hi. I feel like I've been away from posting … Continue reading updates and changes
One day, and then another and another day I woke up and saw that there was nothing constant, and change is the only way I've found magic or felt alive, and while I may say I hate it, it is the place where my heart breaks open and lets in the next wild idea and … Continue reading Loose grips and dusty stories
I was talking to a friend the other day, about sobriety and breakups and other things that feel like getting punched in the guts. We were comparing “what have YOU done sober” stories. I have gone to more weddings sober than him, but he has gone on road trips with friends sober, while they were … Continue reading Some possible missions
Last night I felt like a huge witch lady and not a cool witch, like a mean, nasty wicked witch kinda situation. I was telling Ben that it wasn't FAIR (foot stomp) that I had finally figured out how to take care of myself, gotten sober, made good choices left and right and now, here … Continue reading Half superhero, half witch, and doing hard things in sobriety.
"What's the most important part of your wedding?" my Dad asked. I had just lamented aloud my choice to buzz and bleach and then color my hair, less then 2 months before my wedding. I knew the answer, of course, and it has nothing to do with my fuzzy orange head. "Getting married". My Dad … Continue reading Travel, weddings, and other typically boozy fun
Why the slow dreamy image of an island keeps returning, I can’t say. It’s the picture that forms when I close my eyes, clumsy attempts at meditation or at least a softer gaze inward. I have felt like an inhabitant of an island for years, or more accurately, the island itself. It was on fire … Continue reading I was an island on fire once.