I dream about the life that was killing me. The drinking, the unhealthy relationships, the cold mornings on the train platform and the time spent with my cheek resting on the toilet seat. I miss those things while laying in bed with animals, and a cup of coffee and a partner who deserves me and … Continue reading Ghost stories
To celebrate my 3 year anniversary of sobriety (a couple weeks late but oh well) I'm sharing this letter I put some real heart into writing for a sweet friend who is curious about that no-booze life. I'm just copying it directly here, but please know that I feel this way about everyone. I am … Continue reading So you want to stop drinking- a letter to you.
I want to tell you about something I've been feeling, but I think it would be better explained as a film. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to make films, so I’m going to write the screenplay, and you can make the film in your head. The opening scene. A woman is filling a cardboard box with … Continue reading Sick of the toolbox
These are things I want to share with you, upon my return from the commune. The owners may call it a artist residency, but it had some strong commune vibes in the best, non-culty way. What I learned could be applied to any trip, especially one where you're meeting new people. A little background on … Continue reading How to be sober in a commune
driving my dad to work the sounds of NPR and elephants from the Detroit zoo. along for the ride, i didn't make plans then. i spent years stacking so many small, precious stones. now the ground is uneven and the plan doesn't work anymore. i bury the stones and hope for rain. there was a … Continue reading plans
First of all, what are these awful ads with terrible indistinguishable close-up photos? I'm so sorry if you're seeing those. I tried switching to a really simple layout in the hopes of getting rid of that. I'll keep on it. (UPDATE: I fixed it.) Second thing: hi. I feel like I've been away from posting … Continue reading updates and changes
One day, and then another and another day I woke up and saw that there was nothing constant, and change is the only way I've found magic or felt alive, and while I may say I hate it, it is the place where my heart breaks open and lets in the next wild idea and … Continue reading Loose grips and dusty stories
I was talking to a friend the other day, about sobriety and breakups and other things that feel like getting punched in the guts. We were comparing “what have YOU done sober” stories. I have gone to more weddings sober than him, but he has gone on road trips with friends sober, while they were … Continue reading Some possible missions
Last night I felt like a huge witch lady and not a cool witch, like a mean, nasty wicked witch kinda situation. I was telling Ben that it wasn't FAIR (foot stomp) that I had finally figured out how to take care of myself, gotten sober, made good choices left and right and now, here … Continue reading Half superhero, half witch, and doing hard things in sobriety.
"What's the most important part of your wedding?" my Dad asked. I had just lamented aloud my choice to buzz and bleach and then color my hair, less then 2 months before my wedding. I knew the answer, of course, and it has nothing to do with my fuzzy orange head. "Getting married". My Dad … Continue reading Travel, weddings, and other typically boozy fun