One day, and then another and another day I woke up and saw that there was nothing constant, and change is the only way I've found magic or felt alive, and while I may say I hate it, it is the place where my heart breaks open and lets in the next wild idea and … Continue reading Loose grips and dusty stories
I was talking to a friend the other day, about sobriety and breakups and other things that feel like getting punched in the guts. We were comparing “what have YOU done sober” stories. I have gone to more weddings sober than him, but he has gone on road trips with friends sober, while they were … Continue reading Some possible missions
Last night I felt like a huge witch lady and not a cool witch, like a mean, nasty wicked witch kinda situation. I was telling Ben that it wasn't FAIR (foot stomp) that I had finally figured out how to take care of myself, gotten sober, made good choices left and right and now, here … Continue reading Half superhero, half witch, and doing hard things in sobriety.
"What's the most important part of your wedding?" my Dad asked. I had just lamented aloud my choice to buzz and bleach and then color my hair, less then 2 months before my wedding. I knew the answer, of course, and it has nothing to do with my fuzzy orange head. "Getting married". My Dad … Continue reading Travel, weddings, and other typically boozy fun
Why the slow dreamy image of an island keeps returning, I can’t say. It’s the picture that forms when I close my eyes, clumsy attempts at meditation or at least a softer gaze inward. I have felt like an inhabitant of an island for years, or more accurately, the island itself. It was on fire … Continue reading I was an island on fire once.
I'm in a pretty steady up and down pattern right now. Two weeks on, up, positive, and clear. Two weeks wrestling anxiety like two feral cats fighting over a cardboard box. That box is also my head. It's tricky. I mean, I'm in the good two weeks right now, so I use words like tricky. … Continue reading Spirits doing human things, without masks.
My best friend's mom left this comment on a picture I posted years ago. It was a picture of my face, with a giant scrape on my nose. I had fallen on my face. "Take care of you", she said. It took a bit, but I'm trying harder than ever to do that. You too? … Continue reading Take care of you.