I was talking to a friend the other day, about sobriety and breakups and other things that feel like getting punched in the guts. We were comparing “what have YOU done sober” stories. I have gone to more weddings sober than him, but he has gone on road trips with friends sober, while they were … Continue reading Some possible missions
Last night I felt like a huge witch lady and not a cool witch, like a mean, nasty wicked witch kinda situation. I was telling Ben that it wasn't FAIR (foot stomp) that I had finally figured out how to take care of myself, gotten sober, made good choices left and right and now, here … Continue reading Half superhero, half witch, and doing hard things in sobriety.
"What's the most important part of your wedding?" my Dad asked. I had just lamented aloud my choice to buzz and bleach and then color my hair, less then 2 months before my wedding. I knew the answer, of course, and it has nothing to do with my fuzzy orange head. "Getting married". My Dad … Continue reading Travel, weddings, and other typically boozy fun
Why the slow dreamy image of an island keeps returning, I can’t say. It’s the picture that forms when I close my eyes, clumsy attempts at meditation or at least a softer gaze inward. I have felt like an inhabitant of an island for years, or more accurately, the island itself. It was on fire … Continue reading I was an island on fire once.
I'm in a pretty steady up and down pattern right now. Two weeks on, up, positive, and clear. Two weeks wrestling anxiety like two feral cats fighting over a cardboard box. That box is also my head. It's tricky. I mean, I'm in the good two weeks right now, so I use words like tricky. … Continue reading Spirits doing human things, without masks.
My best friend's mom left this comment on a picture I posted years ago. It was a picture of my face, with a giant scrape on my nose. I had fallen on my face. "Take care of you", she said. It took a bit, but I'm trying harder than ever to do that. You too? … Continue reading Take care of you.
I am retiring “laid back” from my list of “ways I want to be”. “At peace” is a way I want to be. But “laid back” is way too close to “chill” which is just another bullshit way of saying “lower your standards”. I'm too sober and alive for that shit. This desirable state of … Continue reading Not a chill girl.