My best friend’s mom left this comment on a picture I posted years ago. It was a picture of my face, with a giant scrape on my nose. I had fallen on my face. “Take care of you”, she said. It took a bit, but I’m trying harder than ever to do that. You too? It’s hard, right?
In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share a mess of thoughts. I’m not a professional at anything but being me, but I have learned a few things in the last few years.
It’s ok to not feel ok. You are not your feelings. There is no shame in asking for help. Don’t lie to your therapist.
You don’t need an online test to tell you that you need help. You can just need help. If you don’t like your therapist, find another one. Allow yourself to be annoyed with the whole fucking process. Feel mad if you need to. Don’t rely on your partner to fix it.
Here’s why I know this: I had a drinking problem. I stopped drinking because I couldn’t stop blacking out and my insides burned all the time. I have anxiety. I’m coming off Zolof this week and it’s awful but it was making me too apathetic. I might try something else. I have tried 3 different therapists in the last 5 years. The first two told me that I didn’t have a drinking problem. The third one validates my sobriety and my anxiety. I have a partner who encourages me to voice my feelings and isn’t scared of them. I have to fight the desire to restrict my eating when my anxiety gets bad. I have family members who are suffering from mental illness. I love my life. I’m not ashamed of ANY OF THIS. Help is out there.
Thank you for reading my mental health brain blurb.
I love you.
mistakes by the lake 